Meet or Not to Meet

While exploring how communities organize themselves, I realized that the structure of meetings can significantly shape collaboration. Here are some practices I’ve found helpful, both as an organizer and participant in community meetings (not formal work ones). I document them here as part of my ongoing independent research into organizational dynamics and ecosystem building.

This blog is a learn in public and partially inspired by Anson Yu’s Advice Page.

If You Organize a Meeting

Before

• Do we need to? Before scheduling, ask yourself if a meeting is truly necessary. Could the information be shared via email, chat, or a quick document? Meetings take time. Only schedule them when discussion or real-time decision-making adds value.

• Be intentional with scheduling. If you request a meeting, always suggest multiple times (at least 3–5 options) and send the times in the participants’ time zones. Send the invite at least 1 to 3 weeks in advance, depending on the urgency.

• Choose the right format. Big-picture “visioning” sessions go well with in-person meetings. Virtual meetings are best for coordination, check-ins, and task updates, but they can more easily drift as participants are more distracted or not on camera.

• Always have an agenda. It doesn’t have to be formal; bullet points work. Assume most people won’t read it beforehand, so when you start talking about a new item, give some quick context to spark discussion. Frankly, if you don’t have an agenda, don’t have a meeting.

• Rethink default durations. It is common to schedule meetings for the default 30- or 60-minute duration. This is actually a huge pet peeve - whatever time you set for the meeting, even if it’s a 5-minute update, people will find things to talk about for 30 minutes. And frankly, if it’s less than 30, maybe it’s better to just text or email.

• Prep your presenters. Prep your presenters. If someone is expected to share an update, especially quieter participants, check in with them beforehand. A simple, “Hey Bob, are you okay with sharing about our new team swag?” lets them know you want them to speak and helps them feel comfortable.

• Set the tone. If it fits your team culture, use friendlier language to describe the meeting, “chat,” “sync,” or “meet-up” instead of “meeting.” It can make the invitation feel less formal and more inviting.

• The type of meeting matters. I used to use Gather, a virtual office you can decorate, but I don’t anymore since it requires a paid plan. Zoom, Google Meet, and Teams all have different strengths; I tend to prefer Google Meet as a middle ground between Zoom, which people are tired of, and Teams, which feels very work-focused. (This was my little office)

• Food. If the meeting is in person, consider bringing the food. It’s not required, but people do get cranky, especially during long meetings. It can be as simple as chips and juice, and you don’t have to do it all yourself; feel free to ask others to bring something too.
  

During

• Start with care. A meeting should always start off with care. Make sure to ask each other how you are doing. Jumping straight into the agenda can feel too formal or transactional, especially for recurring meetings. A quick moment of genuine connection helps maintain camaraderie over time.

• Be detailed, but concise. Share enough context for people to follow, but don’t go into every backstory. For example, say, “We have a new partnership lead from X, Y, and Z,” rather than “Back in my day…” People are selective listeners, and it’s best to get to the point unless someone asks for more detail.

• Guide, then step back. You start the meeting, so guide it! It’s helpful to outline what you’ll cover at the top of the call, for example, “We’ll talk about X, Y, and Z today,” so others can anticipate what’s coming. After that, shift into facilitator mode: ask questions, invite input, and create space for others to speak. If someone is quiet, give them an opportunity by leaning in and connecting the topic to their expertise.
  • “Ann, what do you think about this new tool? I know you have a lot of experience with software engineering.”

• Mind your language. Tone shapes participation. Phrases like “I don’t agree” or “Why do you think that?” sound confrontational, even if you mean well. Softer alternatives like “Can you explain more? I’m not sure I understand,” or “That’s interesting, I see it a bit differently” keep dialogue respectful. When people feel comfortable, they stay engaged.

• Keep it human. A little levity goes a long way. Jokes, off-topic tangents, or lighthearted moments can make meetings feel more organic. Just be ready to steer things back when needed to stay on track.

• Document. Take notes, record, or transcribe so those who couldn’t attend can still stay informed. It’s a simple gesture that builds transparency. End with next steps: Avoid the “talking in circles” trap. As you wrap up, make sure every action item has both an owner and a soft deadline:
  • “Jack, can you reach out to Sarah by next week?”
  • “Can we loop back in a couple of weeks? How about Wednesday, the 15th?”
    

After

• This one’s optional but always worth doing. Thank attendees for their time, especially if your group communicates on Slack or Discord. A short message like: “Thanks, Mei and Elle, for joining! They’ll be leading work on the new website” goes a long way. It not only shows gratitude but also reinforces next steps and recognizes contributions publicly.

If You Attend a Meeting

• Read the agenda. Ideally, you would read the agenda when and if it comes out. Not only are you more prepared and productive during the meeting, but between the time you read it and the meeting, you will subconsciously be thinking about it and might have better ideas to share.

• Participate. If you just joined a recurring meeting, you may hesitate to speak up, thinking you lack context. But your outside perspective is valuable. Fresh eyes often bring insights that others may overlook.
  At the same time, exercise humility. Don’t take over the conversation and pay attention to gauge when and how to contribute.

• Limit distractions: Multitasking might feel productive, but research shows it rarely is. Stay present; it makes meetings shorter and more meaningful for everyone.

• Engage thoughtfully. It’s completely fine to disagree with the agenda or a point raised during discussion. Productive dissent is part of collaboration as long as it’s communicated respectfully. Thank others: Expressing appreciation to organizers and fellow attendees. Especially if the meeting is after-hours, a little gratitude builds long-term goodwill.