Meet or Not to Meet

Tips on hosting a meeting well. Please note, if you are in a more formal or hierarchical meeting, not all of this may apply, but the principles still hold.

If you organize a meeting

Before

• Be intentional with scheduling. Suggest multiple times (at least 3–5 options) and always consider participants’ time zones. Send the invite at least one to three weeks ahead, depending on urgency.
• Choose the right format. Big-picture “visioning” sessions go well with in-person meetings. Virtual meetings are best for coordination, check-ins, and task updates, but they can more easily drift as participants are more distracted or not on camera.
• Always have an agenda. It doesn’t have to be formal; bullet points work. Assume most people won’t read it beforehand, so when you move to a new item, give some quick context to spark discussion.
• Rethink default durations. It is common to schedule meetings for the default 30 or 60 minutes. Here, the thing: whatever time you put on, such as 30 minutes, even if it's a 5-minute update, people will find things to talk about for 30 minutes. And frankly, if it's less than 30, maybe it's better to just message.
• Prep your presenters. If someone is expected to share an update, especially if they are on the quieter end, it might help to make sure you communicate with them before the meeting. It ensures they feel comfortable bringing it up.
• Set the tone. If it fits your team culture, use friendlier language, “chat,” “sync,” or “meet-up” instead of “meeting.” It can make the invitation feel less formal and more inviting.

During

• Start with care. A meeting should always start off with care. Make sure to ask each other how you are doing. Jumping straight into the agenda can feel too formal or transactional, especially for recurring meetings. A quick moment of genuine connection helps maintain camaraderie over time.
• Be detailed—but concise. Share enough context for people to follow, but don’t go into every backstory. For example, say, “We have a new partnership lead from X, Y, and Z,” rather than “Back in my day…” People are selective listeners, and it's best to get to the point unless someone asks for more detail.
• Guide, then step back. As the organizer, you’ll naturally start the conversation—perhaps by outlining what you’ll cover (“We’ll talk about X, Y, and Z today”). That helps others make connections between topics. But after that, shift into facilitator mode. Ask questions, invite input, and create space for others to speak. If someone’s quiet, try drawing on their expertise:
  “Bob, what do you think about this new tool? I know you have a lot of experience with software engineering.”
• Mind your language. Tone shapes participation. Phrases like “I don’t agree” or “Why do you think that?” can sound confrontational, even if you mean well. Softer alternatives like “Can you explain more? I’m not sure I understand,” or “That’s interesting, I see it a bit differently” keep dialogue respectful. When people feel comfortable, they stay engaged and more likely to return.
• Keep it human. A little levity goes a long way. Jokes, off-topic tangents, or lighthearted moments can make meetings feel more organic. Just be ready to steer things back when needed to stay on track.
• Document. Take notes, record, or transcribe so those who couldn’t attend can still stay informed. It’s a simple gesture that builds transparency.
• End with next steps: Avoid the “talking in circles” trap. As you wrap up, make sure every action item has both an owner and a soft deadline:
  “Nick, could you reach out to Bob by next week?”

After

• This one’s optional but always worth doing. Thank attendees for their time, especially if your group communicates on Slack or Discord. A short message like:
  “Thanks, Ellie and Bob, for joining! They’ll be leading work on the new website.”
  goes a long way. It not only shows gratitude but also reinforces next steps and recognizes contributions publicly.

If You’re Attending a Meeting

• Read the agenda: Ideally, you would read the agenda when and if it comes out. Not only are you more prepared and productive during the meeting, but between the time you read it and the meeting, you will subconsciously be thinking about it and might have good ideas to share.
• Participate: Especially in recurring meetings, newer attendees may hesitate to speak up, thinking they lack context. But your outside perspective is valuable. Fresh eyes often bring insights that others may overlook.
• Limit distractions: Multitasking might feel productive, but research shows it rarely is. Stay present; it makes meetings shorter and more meaningful for everyone.
• Engage thoughtfully: It’s completely fine to disagree with the agenda or a point raised during discussion. Productive dissent is part of collaboration as long as its communicated respectfully.
• Thank others: Expressing appreciation to organizers and fellow attendees, especially for after-hours meetings, builds goodwill.